sitting here . well laying . i have so much on my mind .
i can’t always voice everything via twitter … not enough characters
on here . . i just type . anything that pops in my head i type it out .
i have SO many thoughts about what is going to happen . i’ve never
been this stressed out of my years of living . this isn’t even as close
to my stress i got from dating / breaking up / talking / etc w/ renz .
this is like some grown ass shit . i don’t know whats going to happen
with kid . i don’t know what’s gone happen with me .
i keep myself busy , so i don’t have to think about it .
thats why i’m practically always on the boys side of patty or either roaming camp doing
the most unnecessary. the way i escape from my problems is causing more problems
people starting to talk . make assumptions off the unknown. you can’t do
SHIT without eyes being on you , or people talking behind your back.
i just wish things were better . i wish that i could have what i had BACK. i’ve failed
to realize how hard this was going to be . it must have slipped my mind.
but i wish that throughout all this mess - - - i can be able to live comfortably &
fully breathe again. i’m living like i’m holding my breath. when shit hits the fan
its a done deal. i just don’t want that to be the option that gets chosen.
what if i wasn’t in college
what if i didn’t finish high school
what if i wasn’t mixed
what if i wasn’t born
what if the time never went forward
what if i didn’t wear underwear today
what if i never met you
what if i never met him
what if he came back
what if he never left
what if i had regrets
what if we kissed again
what if i told myself to let go
what if i wasn’t so strong minded
what if this was all fake
what if this was my dream
what if the world ended tomorrow
what if i never got to say goodbye
what if you knew i didn’t care
what if that was all a lie ……
